Teaching How to Cleanup Without Tears

Teaching children how to clean up their toys can be a frustrating experience for both parents and children under the best conditions. It was especially hard for us during this season of life when we were foster parents to a sweet little boy with sensory and developmental issues.

His world revolved around movement and play. Our living room became a designated therapy play area, filled with toys specifically chosen to help him self-regulate. I did not make him clean up, but I did limit the amount of toys he had access to at one time to limit the chaos. This is a different strategy, toy rotation, that deserves its own blog post.

To be clear, cleaning up wasn’t a priority for him or me. I knew that picking battles over it would be counterproductive to managing his other behavior priorities. Instead, I decided to focus on teaching him HOW to clean up–the concept of cleaning up. That is very different than teaching the concept of “obedience” or enforcing compliance to a command of “clean up.”

Clean Up Routine Is a Teaching Opportunity

On this day, when our little guy stood in a pile of magnet tiles and sweetly asked me for the wooden blocks (They were up high on a shelf, within sight, but out of reach. This is another strategy for another blog post.)

When he made this request on this day, I realized now was the time. Today was the day. Things had been going well. He was calm and having a good day. I was calm and having a good day. I was ready to try something new.

I was presented with a golden opportunity. I told him with a smile, “Yes, but first, I need to clean up these magnet tiles, then I will get the blocks down for you.” He recieved that answer well. He did not react. Maybe he didn’t understand the first time. Maybe he did. He asked again and I repeated…

“Yes, first, I will clean up the magnet tiles, then I will get the blocks.”

While I began putting away the magnets with zero expectations placed on him, I silently handed him a magnet as if to say…

“Can you help me clean up the magnets?”

But I didn’t really have to say anything. To my delight, he copied me. He participated, putting a few magnets in the bucket each time I prompted him. He eventually wandered off, I finished cleaning up the magnets myself and gave him what he asked for, the wooden blocks. There was no fuss, just a positive learning experience to build on.

As I type this, I think “wow this does not seem that big of a deal” but I PROMISE you it was a huge deal at the time.

The next time the opportunity presented itself, I did it again. And. It. Worked.

Except this time he understood and he helped me clean up those magnets. I did most of the work, but he helped me. I gave him positive feedback through praise and of course, the wooden blocks.

The next thing I knew it was our new normal.

At first it was me doing most of the work with very little expectation on him. Gradually he did more and more of the cleaning still alongside me, all the while me saying to him what a good job he was doing cleaning up his toys. The action of picking up the toys, the language I was using and the interaction between us. They combined to form this positive experience that he associated with “clean up.”

After a while he embraced the idea of helping me clean up lots of different things. He was proud of cleaning up the towel off the floor. He was eager to clean up his books and put them on the shelf. He was happy to clean up his trash and those it away. “Cleaning up” was a success.

Our Clean-Up Routine: The Science Behind The Success

This seemingly simple interaction incorporated several behavioral principles:

First/Then (Premack Principle): This strategy pairs a less-preferred activity (cleaning up the magnets) with a more-preferred one (playing with blocks). This motivates the child to complete the less-preferred task in order to access the reward.

Read about it here “Teaching Compliance First Premack Principle” at HowtoABA.com https://howtoaba.com/teaching-compliance-first-premack-principle/

Shaping: I praised his initial effort of putting away a few magnets, then gradually increased the expectation until he could clean up the entire set.

Read about Shaping at “Shaping Behavior in ABA: Unlocking Potential Through Gradual Progression by How to ABA,” from HowtoABA.com January 9, 2024, https://howtoaba.com/shaping-behavior/

Prompting: I used a combination of verbal prompts (“Can you help me clean up the magnets?”) and physical prompts (handing him a magnet) to guide his actions.

Read more about types of prompts here, “Types of Prompts” from Toddler ASD Learning Modules from Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute at University of North Caroline at Chapple Hill accessed 12/29/2024 (https://asdtoddler.fpg.unc.edu/prompting-module/overview-prompting/what-prompting/types-prompts.html)

What Made Our Clean-Up Routine A Little Different

• No Demand: I didn’t tell him to clean, I told him I was going to clean, and silently invited him to help me.
• Both Toys Were Preferred: Both the magnet tiles and wooden blocks were preferred toys. If he didn’t cooperate with cleaning up, he would still have had a preferred toy available to play with, the magnets.
• Lowered Expectation: I was over the mood proud of him when he put one single magnet in the block. He got praise for any effort he made for helping clean up. At first, I was counting it as a success that simply tolerated the wait for the wooden blocks without a tantrum.

Clean-up Routine: Putting It All Together

While I wasn’t consciously aware of these principles at the time, my improvised actions aligned to promote positive behavior. I was encouraged and reminded that we can effectively teach children new skills, including cleaning up, without resorting to power struggles.

Additional Tips for Teaching Cleanup

Here are some additional tips for teaching children to clean up, applicable to both children with and without special needs:

• Make specific requests. Instead of saying “clean up your room,” ask your child to put away a specific toy (flashlight), set of toys (magnet tiles) or type of toys (all the books.)
• Offer choices. Provide two acceptable options, such as “Do you want to put away the blocks or the cars?”
• Set a timer. Use a timer to create a fun competition to see how quickly they can clean up.
• Offer praise and encouragement. Acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their successes.

By incorporating these strategies, you can create a more positive and cooperative environment when it comes to teaching your child to clean up.

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Reference: Harvard Health Publishing wrote in “How to get your child to put away toys,” November 1, 2021 by Jacqueline Sperling https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-get-your-child-to-put-away-toys-202111012628

(https://asdtoddler.fpg.unc.edu/prompting-module/overview-prompting/what-prompting/types-prompts.html)

https://howtoaba.com/shaping-behavior/

https://howtoaba.com/teaching-compliance-first-premack-principle/