Homework Help: 9 Tips to Make Homework Less Painful

This is a summary of the training that was presented on Facebook, and is available to be presented in person upon request.

Back to school and back to homework. Homework can be a huge source of conflict and strong feelings for some families. You may remember having those strong feelings in your own childhood when doing your homework. Maybe you did your homework without a hitch, and don’t understand how to help your child who is now having a hard time with the homework routine. Let’s talk about strategies to make homework time with your child less painful and more conducive to learning.

Homework pros and cons— a debate

The following article from Time magazine discusses the pros and cons of homework. “Is Homework Good for Kids? Here’s What the Research Says”from Time Magazine by Katie Reilly on August 30, 2016.

On the one hand, homework is thought to improve study habits, attitudes toward school, self-discipline, inquisitiveness, and independent problem-solving skills. 

On the other hand, some studies have shown that homework can cause physical and emotional fatigue, fuel negative attitudes about learning, and limit children’s leisure time.

“A good way to think about homework is the way you think about medications or dietary supplements…. If you take too little, they’ll have no effect. If you take too much, they can kill you. If you take the right amount, you’ll get better.”

from Time Magazine BY KATIE REILLY  AUGUST 30, 2016

How long does it take your child to finish his homework each night? Do you think your child is getting too much, too little, or just the right amount of homework? 

How to help

Some useful tips come from “Homework Help for Reluctant Children: How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual That Works for Everyone,” by Heather Miller, October 15, 2018, at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education.

“Many parents are under the impression that they shouldn’t have anything to do with their children’s homework. This comes from schools emphasizing that homework is a child’s responsibility, not the parents’. While it is absolutely true that parents should not do their children’s homework, there is a role for parents — one that’s perhaps best described as “homework project manager.” Parents can be monitoring, organizing, motivating, and praising the homework effort as it gets done. And yes, that means sitting with your child to help them stay focused and on task. Your presence sends the message that homework is important business, not to be taken lightly.”

This Harvard publication compares a parent’s role to that of a homework project manager. Your role is to be present because your presence sends the message that homework is important.

Here is the list of jobs for the Homework project manager.

1. Monitor the homework effort. 
2. Organize the homework effort. 
3. Motivate the homework effort. 
4. Praise the homework effort.

Janin Bempechat’s article “The Case for (Quality) Homework: Why it Improves Learning, and How Parents Can Help,” from The Journal Winter 2019, Volume 19, Issue 1, an Education Next publication, offers parents more tips.

“Parents who maintain a positive outlook on homework and allow their children room to learn and struggle on their own, stepping in judiciously with informational feedback and hints, do their children a much better service than those who seek to control the learning process. “

“Homework project manager” job description: Monitor, Organize, Motivate, Praise

Tip 1 Know the Expectations: Teachers and What They’re Looking For

Attend school events like parent-teacher conferences to meet your child’s teachers. Ask about their homework policies and how you should be involved. 

Did your school have a meet-the-teacher day or an open house night? Were you provided info on homework expectations?

Do you have a way to contact each teacher if you need to ask questions?

Tip 2: Create a homework routine that suits your kiddo

• Schedule a regular study time—Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner. 
• Set up a homework-friendly area. It is recommended that you set up a homework area in a communal part of the home, like the kitchen table, so that the child does not feel isolated,
• Make sure kids have a well-lit place to complete homework.
• Keep distractions to a minimum. (no TV, loud music, or phone)
• Keep supplies — paper, pencils, glue, scissors — within reach.

Tip 3: Big project? Help them make a plan

If there’s an especially hefty assignment to tackle, encourage your child to break up the work into manageable chunks. Involve them in the decision-making process of the planning. Create a work schedule (for the night or for the week)—and take a 15-minute break every hour, if possible.

Tip 4: Take a Sensory Break, Especially for the Hands

We learn with our bodies, especially our hands, all the time. Our hands can be like pipelines to the brain. When our hands become stuck in a rote movement such as writing or typing, it’s not hard to see how these pipelines get clogged while other pipelines become dry and rusty.

“Luckily, toys can easily bring back the flow and hopefully knock out things like Writer’s Block or wash away some math-induced anxiety (or anger).” (Choi, 2024) 

Top 10 Toys That Get Kids Focused, 2014, by Jenn Cho in Forbes Magazine, lists some interesting toys. Some I’ve never heard of before.

The “fidget” or the sensory break toy does not have to be too complicated. Things like putty, play dough, kinetic sand, a stress ball, a couple of Legos, and rubber bands can do the trick.

Think about it. Do you squirm or fidget in long meetings? What strategies do you use to give yourself a break? How do you think offering sensory breaks would affect your job as homework project manager and your ability to motivate, organize, monitor, and praise the homework effort? 

Tip 5: Make Sure Kids Do Their Own Work the Way They Learned from the Teacher

They won’t learn if they don’t think for themselves and make their own mistakes. Parents can make suggestions and help with directions. But it’s a kid’s job to do the learning

What if your child’s tearing up over a long-division worksheet, and you actually remember how to get the answer. But the teacher’s instructions are different. Do you show your kid your method — so that at least she’ll have the correct answer?

No.

 “You can help your child by talking to her about what she remembers from class and steering her to the textbook. If she’s still lost, just have her write a note to the teacher explaining that she doesn’t understand.”  

9 Smart Tips for Homework Success–Help kids manage their homework load with these strategies, written by Scholastic Parents Staff on Aug 5, 2022

Tell us! Does your child do math problems differently than the way you learned them? How does this affect your job as homework project manager and your ability to motivate, organize, monitor, and praise the homework effort? 

Tip 6: Make Sleep a Priority 

“Getting enough sleep is an under-valued but crucial part of learning. Contrary to students’ belief that staying up all night to cram for an exam will lead to higher scores, truth is, the need for a good night’s rest is even more important than finishing homework or studying for a test.”

KQED Mindship, “Why Sleeping May Be More Important Than Studying” by Katrina Schwartz on Jan 11, 2013.

What is your kids’ sleep routine? Are they getting enough? Do you notice your child acts differently when she’s not sleeping well? Do you perform differently when short on sleep yourself? These are questions to ask yourself. If sleep is a problem, homework will not go well, but many things in your life will not be going well in that case. Take the time to solve the sleep problem.

Tip 7: Study time? Use Creative Methods 

“Learning doesn’t have to be boring,” says Neil McNerney, author of “Homework: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Out without Freaking Out.” “In fact, student learning increases if the activity is fun and engaging.”

“Games offer an opportunity to differentiate learning for various personalities,” says Chelsea Duggan, director of Milestar Babies, which offers ideas for educational play.

8 Fun Homework Games. Take the “work” out of homework with these enjoyable and educational games. Gillian Burdett Updated on: May 19, 2021 at care.com.

Get Outside

Dear Organizing Coach: The Worn Out, Frustrated, Impatient Homework Problem

Or get him outside. I have students doing math homework with sidewalk chalk or learning vocabulary words while jumping on the trampoline. Have a dog that needs walking? You grab the flashcards, your son grabs the dog — and by the time you’re back, he’s studied for his exam. By adding energy and fun into his daily homework routine, you will keep him motivated and on-task.

“Dear Organizing Coach: The Worn Out, Frustrated, Impatient Homework Problem” by Leslie Josel, updated on February 17, 2022 for Additude Magazine.

Top 5 Homework Frustrations — and Fixes for Each

Struggle 1 Disorganized Danny

“The key is to treat organization like a subject. Instead of kicking off homework time with a math assignment or a vocabulary list, start by dedicating a few minutes to organization.”

Consider Creating a Call List. The study buddy can read your child the spelling words over the phone, or his mom can snap a pic of the worksheet and text it to you.

Struggle 2 Procrastinating Penny

“…in many cases the child wants to start — she just feels overwhelmed or under prepared…”

Lower the barrier to entry.

Start homework so easily that anyone can do it. Pick one small task that your child can do to get started.

Some children need a timer.

“I find it’s best to use 10 minutes—I call it the “Tolerable 10.” Tell your child, “Okay, just focus as hard as you can, as best as you can, for just 10 minutes.” Once time is up, allow him to walk a lap around the living room or do a quick stretch.

Struggle 3 Distractable David

“Research shows that distractible kids need to fidget in order to focus;”…” Give them a fidget toy, which is a small handheld object that can be fidgeted with in a non-disruptive way.”

“On the other end of the spectrum are the daydreamers, who tend to take a 15-minute assignment and drag it out to an hour or longer — simply because they’re unable to stay focused.”

Reminder system.

“Ask how many reminders they need. If unsure start with 3. After 3 reminders no more. This strategy takes the “nagging” element out of the equation, and makes your child aware of his own distractibility. Set an end time. When time is up, put the assignment away, finished or not.”

Struggle 4 Rushing Ryan

He just wants it done as quickly as possible, whether it’s done well or not. 

Parents can say, “No matter how much homework you say you have, you have to sit and do homework for 30 minutes every night. If you really run out of things to do, you can read a book or practice your math facts.” In most cases, this set period of time really reduces rushing because your child will know that no matter what, they won’t be able to get up and play Xbox after 3 minutes.

Struggle 5 frustrated frank

Trying to reason with a child during a meltdown often doesn’t work; they’re too upset to listen to logic, and being told to “calm down” can be invalidating.

Disengage –try leaving the room

If your child gets upset, say something like, “I can tell this is difficult for you. Come and get me when you’re ready to start again.”

“Kids who drag things out are often doing so for your attention — they’re enjoying the interaction on some level,” explains Grace. “Avoid joining in. And if you must stay in the room, have your child work in a spot that’s farther away from whatever you’re doing.”

Tip 9: Get Help

Don’t let it become a nightmare if it’s still hard. Get help. Call the teacher. Have a conference to get on the same page and devise a plan.

So there you go, 9 tips to make homework less painful. I hope you learned something applicable to your child and your needs.

What strategy will you be able to start using with your child right away?