In the past, when well-intended advice givers suggested self-care to me, I imagined a bubble bath, chocolate truffles, Mani/Pedi’s, a make-over montage, and a shopping spree. If I wasn’t doing those things, I wasn’t doing self-care.
Self Care Defined
noun
Dictionary.com
- the act of attending to one’s physical or mental health, generally without medical or other professional consultation (often used attributively):It’s been a rough week, so this weekend is all about self-care through exercise.
- the products or practices used to comfort or soothe oneself (often used attributively): Taking a bath is a great self-care activity when you’re feeling stressed. Seeing friends is my self-care. Taking a bath is a great self-care activity when you’re feeling stressed.
The Podcast That Changed My Life
Podcasts have changed my life. I’m not being overly dramatic. At least, I don’t think I am. Let me explain how this one podcast changed my life for the better.
I came across a particular foster parenting podcast that encouraged me when I was struggling. The Resilient Caregiver Podcast by Mike and Kristin Berry. This one about self-care created a shift in my thinking.
After hearing the idea of self-care explained to me in a new way, I embraced it. Self-care is a mindset.
What self-care IS: the mindset of giving yourself permission to take care of what you need in the moment. What self-care is not: selfish.
“I’m so good at taking care of me.”
The words “I am so good at taking care of me” have become my battle cry against the martyr mentality.
Meeting your basic physical needs is self-care.
- Taking a daily shower is my self-care.
Doing whatever I must do to get my shower in at the end of the day without feeling guilty about it is my self-care. If laundry needs to be done or the kitchen is not clean, they can wait 15 minutes while I take care of ME.
Meeting your mental health needs is self-care.
- Asking for a short break is my self-care.
Asking my husband to give me a 5-minute break from the children is self-care. I am willing to return the favor and give him a 5-minute break as my way of caring for him. Letting the kids watch TV during the witching hour is self-care for our whole family.
Meeting your needs to prevent pain and discomfort is self-care.
- Enjoying my morning coffee is my self-care.
I strive to drink my cup of coffee in the morning in a state of mind that says, “It is okay to sip my coffee in a relaxed way.”
Mama’s coffee time is a moment when I give myself permission to stop waiting on the children hand and foot.
Saying to Big Sister: “I will fix your hair AFTER I finish my coffee,” or “You can fix your toast yourself now, or I can help you AFTER I have my coffee.”
In the past, I would do all of the things, telling myself I could have coffee later. “I can wait.” As a result, I would forget my coffee and get a caffeine withdrawal headache.
- Packing my Daily Cup of Water is my self-care.
I treat myself to a new cup occasionally so that every day, I can pack a cup of ice water and sip it all day long—self-care at its finest.
There was a busy season where my cute cups were all missing or dirty, and I didn’t pack water to take with me. I got a kidney stone. Those are the worst.
- Purchasing bottled water to have on hand just in case is my new form of self-care
I have started purchasing a case of bottled water specifically for the purpose of taking water with me everywhere I go, when my cup is dirty or when I am in a hurry. Yes, it is my goal to save the earth and decrease my plastic consumption, but… I also don’t want a kidney stone!
Self-care doesn’t have to cost anything.
Free things I do to make me feel like I am taking care of myself:
- Diffuse essential oils.
- Exercise briefly, even if it’s not “perfect.”
- Take an Epsom salt bath.
- Wear earrings to make me feel put together.
- Put on lipgloss to make me feel pretty.
- Wear soft socks.
- Coloring adult coloring book pages.
- Waste time on Pinterest.
I’m so good at taking care of me.
When bad things happened to me because I didn’t take care of my own needs, I used to take on the mentality of a martyr. “Poor me. I have so much to do. Taking care of the children is so stressful that I don’t even have time for my morning coffee.”
But not anymore because I’m so good at taking care of me.
Share in the comments how you are so good at taking care of you!
All Things Early Intervention 