I will be the first to tell you that I am just an “okay” housekeeper. I think my house is clean, but like many families, we just have a lot of stuff. My home is usually about 30 minutes of housework away from being ready for company. I was really nervous when we had our home inspection to become foster parents. I had an irrational fear that my house wasn’t clean enough. As it turns out, my fear didn’t match reality; my house wasn’t that messy, and we passed the inspection easily.
But a few months later, on the very day we brought foster children into our home for the first time, I saw a single bug flying in the pantry. The next day, boom, it felt like millions. We had a full pantry moth infestation.
Luckily, my best friend—whose house is much cleaner than mine—had just dealt with the same thing and was ready to talk me through it.
We did a massive clean-out, threw away all the open food, and bleached every cabinet. We put out glue traps and counted the moths every day to see if our hard work was making a difference. Keep in mind that while dealing with this there was also a parade of various home visitors checking on the new kiddos.
In my career as an Early Intervention Special Instructor, I have walked through countless front doors, seeing the intimate and often messy realities of the families I serve without judgement. While I always aimed for empathy, I must confess that there was a quiet, secret part of me that occasionally DID feel some kind of way when I spotted a bug scuttling across a kitchen counter.
Having to stand in my own kitchen that was in total disarray and having to explain home-study officials ****that we were in the middle of treating a bug infestation fill me with shame and embarrassment.
Bug Stigma vs. Bug Reality
It is deeply human to feel that a pest infestation is a commentary on your character, especially when it coincides with a formal evaluation of your parenting. This bug stigma is a normal byproduct of cultural conditioning, stemming from a Sanitary Movement that historically linked domestic cleanliness to godliness and high social status. In our society, hygiene is treated as a social value, which causes us to internalize a minor bug infestation as a social crisis that threatens our very well-being.
The reality is that bugs are a “great equalizer” because they happen to everyone. National data shows that about 14 million homes (that’s 1 in 10) in the U.S. see roaches in a single year. This happens in every kind of neighborhood, no matter how much money the families make. In fact, studies have found that almost every single home in the U.S. has some level of bug allergens inside.
Because many bugs are “hitchhikers,” things like pantry moths and German cockroaches often come into the cleanest homes inside grocery bags, shipping boxes, or store-bought food packages.
When Are Bugs Actually A “Big Deal”?
Experts describe bug issues in three categories. They are not all harmless.
- Nuisance (Normal): Seeing one or two “hitchhikers” or a few moths is a normal part of living in a world where food is shipped all over.
- Active Infestation (Outbreak): This is a group of bugs that are growing and need a serious response. Asking for professional help or following a strict cleaning plan is a sign of a high-functioning household management and parental responsibility. If you are caught in the middle of treating an infestation, you should get a gold star for doing a good job!
- Neglect (Hazardous): This is when bugs are ignored for a long time. This can lead to a buildup of waste that can cause health problems like asthma. This is still not a moral judgement, but it is no longer ok to ignore. Action needs to be taken because someone’s health is at stake.
Research also shows that the stress of the shame is often just as bad for your health as the bugs. One major study found that having bug problems in the home can lead to higher levels of anxiety and depression for moms.
Asthma, anxiety and depression, Oh my! Knowing this helps us see that bug problems are a potential mental health and medical issue to be addressed, not a moral failure to be ashamed of.
Practical Steps and Moving Forward
If you do find bugs in your pantry, you can follow these three simple, non-toxic steps:
- Eliminate: Throw away any food that has bugs in it.
- Exclude: Put your dry food into hard, airtight containers instead of leaving them in plastic bags or boxes.
- Monitor: Deep clean every crack and corner. Use sticky traps to see if the bugs are gone.
Keep in mind that using bug spray near your food is not recommended for pantry months because the chemicals can be more dangerous to your family and your food than the moths are.
However 5 years later, when we had an infestation of German Roaches (Lucky us!) we did need to get pesticide sprayed in all of the the cabinets. As a result, we were not allowed to put anything back in them for 28 days. Our house was in total disarray during that time, but it worked.
The Silver Lining
The good news is that both times while cleaning out my pantry, I found old food that should have been tossed years ago. And while the cabinets were empty, I enjoyed putting down pretty new shelf paper.
So getting a pest infestation is the universe’s way of saying “Hey! It’s time to clean out your pantry, and go ahead and treat yourself to new shelf paper, Girlfriend!”
Concluding Thoughts
This experience drove home that as people who work with children, we need to BOTH let go of our own “bug shame” AND ALSO stop judging the families we visit for minor pest issues. When we understand that this can happen to anyone, we can offer support instead of stigma. We should focus on safety and effort, not on being perfect.
References
Butrym, D. M. (2016). Exploring the association between maternal mental health and housing conditions during early childhood and anxiety and depression at age 15. Scholars Archive, University at Albany. https://scholarsarchive.library.albany.edu/challenge?next=/cgi/viewcontent.cgi&article=2569&context=legacy-etd
This research explained the association between household infestations and increased maternal anxiety and depression.
Orkin Canada. (Accessed May 11, 2026.). Cockroach Chronicles: Your Guide to the World’s Most Resilient Pest. https://www.orkincanada.ca/drive/uploads/2019/12/Cockroach-chronicles-OC-ebook-ENG.pdf
This professional guide explains that pests are a “hitch hikers” introduced through grocery bags and shipping boxes into even the cleanest homes.
Salo, P. M., Cohn, R. D., & Zeldin, D. C. (2018). Bedroom Allergen Exposure Beyond House Dust Mites. Current Allergy and Asthma Reports, 18(10). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6222253/#:~:text=A
This study showed detectable levels of pest allergens are a near-universal environmental factor present in over 99% of U.S. households. It shows that biological markers of pests exist almost everywhere.
Sellner, M., & Wicht, J. (2021). How Many American Homes Have Pests? U.S. Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/04/how-many-american-homes-have-pests.html
This site provides the core data used to demonstrate that pests are a “Great Equalizer.” It provides the specific statistic that nearly 14 million housing units (approximately 10% of households) report seeing cockroaches, regardless of income bracket.
University of California Statewide IPM Program. (2013). Pantry Pests. UC IPM. https://ipm.ucanr.edu/home-and-landscape/pantry-pests/
This technical guide provides the practical, non-toxic management framework: Elimination, Exclusion, and Monitoring.
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